All of the most important relationships in my life, have been tainted with my feelings of jealousy. Envy has been my biggest sin since I was a young child. I’ve been envious of my friend’s talents, beauty, happiness, relationships, money, anything I could see that they had would make my skin crawl with a bad itch. In romantic relationships I’ve allowed my jealousy and insecurity to undo me. These feelings are at the root of my unhappiness.
But the funny thing is, they are so easy to dispel! The answer lies, as it often does, in a change of perspective.
This is what I started with; a list of what was good about myself, and my life. I created this list as objectively as I possibly could, as if I were another person surveying from the outside. It is important to draw this list up when you’re in neither a particularly good or bad mood. You don’t necessarily have to make a physical list, a mental one would work just as well. In this list include everything that you consider to be a positive aspect of your life, whether it be tangible or intangible, a physical, mental, or emotional strength within you, anything you love. Here is what mine looked like:
-Family is healthy, alive, and plays an active roll in my life
-A home to sleep, eat, and bathe in, with more than the necessaries to support a good life.
-A town I can truly call home
-A blooming talent for art and writing
-Good health and physical qualities that are not are generally not distasteful
-A best friend to confide in
-A strong moral compass
-A partner in love to travel life’s journey’s with.
The list goes on and on, but that’s the general idea. And its not to say that if you don’t have these things, then your life can’t be good! It’s all about finding what you do have, and recognizing it. Once I had this list drawn out, I sat and thought for a moment, sipping my tea, and watching the rain dribble down my window.
And you know, my life is beautiful. I have so much to celebrate and be happy for, that it is such a shame to waste these gifts.
And after that I began to think more of what I wanted I wanted for mankind. I consider myself a global thinker. I love the idea of collective movement, and the power of a group united under an idea. I am always hoping for a world in which human beings can be kinder and more sincere towards one another. So if I think that, shouldn’t I be praising the gifts bestowed onto others?
I could not have come to this epiphany had I not first realized the happiness prevalent in my own life. Once I understood what I do have, it became easier to be happier for the gifts given to others.
Life is not a contest, and the most important aspects, cannot be quantified. People have a habit of comparing the worst in themselves, to the best in others. But the truth is, that we should not feel the need to compare at all. The idea is to help one another, and if you have something that I lack, should we not use that to create unity? The ways we vary from one another enable us to work together fluidly, but only if we allow it.
Take a moment to consider all that is beautiful in your life, and you too will find that jealousy is but a misguided emotion.
Honestly, this has helped me immensely. I cannot say with certainty that envy will be all together disregarded from my life- if I could, I wouldn’t be human. However, I haven’t felt that all too familiar itch of envy since this transition. Already my life feels lighter and simpler. Jealousy does little but create bitterness and confusion. I have found that with it gone, my relationships have become so much simpler and a weight has become lifted from my conscience. The best feelings is knowing that internally, down deep where no one else can see it, you have improved upon yourself.