I know that when many people look at the world, they get bogged down by all the negativity surrounding them. Some find it impossible to appreciate the beautiful things because the evil forces seem so much more prominent. But when I look at some of the people around me, and even inside my own soul, I am amazed at the amount of passion, love, and swirling emotions that is contained within my small and fragile body.
Yes, there are not just a few, but many people that harbor unspeakable turmoil within them, and this rots them from the inside out and is often projected onto the people around them, and others suffer…I cannot pretend that this is not true.
But the human mind is such a complex structure, and in even the most wretched souls there lies great love and care- if there did not, then half of the atrocities that have happened would never have existed. More often than not, crimes and hate are born from an intense amount of love. The rest of the world, as outsiders, only viewing the storm within a person and judging them by their outside actions, find it hard to comprehend that love can create monsters.
How could something so tender, clear, and perfect be the cause of such discord?
Our love can be too much for our bodies, or even for our own minds to safely harbor. Love is maddening. It takes the world as you know it and turns it on its head. It takes your brain, shoves it in a blender, and hits the puree button. It pulls you to the highest peak of your existence, and then drags you down into an endless abyss. It is both the making, and the undoing of men.
Movies and novels that we are exposed to in the modern era often portray love as something that is easy, something that happens so simplistically and effortlessly. Once the main characters of the movie fall in love, its happily ever after.
For me, I have found that love is a constant battle. A battle against yourself, against time, bitterness, jealousy, endless questions, selfishness, past demons, and anything that haunts you. Love is an adventure, and it is never ending. It doesn’t become easier with time, the worries only evolve and grow just as your body and mind do. But this baffling emotion seems so much stronger than the body. It is strong enough to move one to tears, to tear the soul from the body and send it raining down your cheeks. Its enough to drive a man to violence, self mutilation among them. We sometimes sit up at night, unable to sleep while our emotions rage against our bodies, pushing our eyes open even when our mind begs for rest. Our love screams to be released from the cage. All the time it is screaming and begging to be released into the world. What do you do to make up for your desperate need for love? Do you eat your emotions away? Wrap your mind in a cocoon of depression? Sleep around? Are you violent? Angry? Self-loathing?
We all have our ways of dealing with it, but lets face the truth, we love way to much. To much for it to be healthy. To much for our minds to understand. So much that it demands to be set free. So much that it can change the world.